What's the Difference Between a Trigger and a Glimmer?

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I am so grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful for the thunderstorm we had on Friday, for good news, for choices and for time together. I’m grateful for coffee, for Charles Olivera and for the people who make me smile. I’m grateful for the relationships I have, for a fresh week and for change.

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Good morning my friends :)

Over the weekend (and coming off my Atlas of the Heart post from Thursday) I heard of a new use for the word “glimmer”. Now, the exact definition of glimmer is to shine faintly with a wavering light. We have glimmers of hope, glimmers of peace etc., etc., etc.

In this context, a glimmer was referred to as the opposite of a trigger. So, on one end of the scale, we have triggers which can be memories, objects, people, music, sounds, anything that causes intense negative emotions. Glimmers on the other end can be micro-moments of joy that momentarily give us a sense of calm and inner peace. Like a little plant growing from a crack in the sidewalk, a really cool piece of graffiti on the side of a building when you’re stuck in traffic, the way the sky turns pink when the sun sets, seeing a little kid just running around being an innocent little kid, a puppy that is so happy to smother you in kisses.

Formerly referred to as “the little things” by myself, I am now sticking with the word “glimmers” to describe these moments of joy, peace, calm, laughter, all the positive emotions. And they are truly all around, they are fleeting and can be missed in a moment but when they are seen they can alter a bad mood so quickly. They can bring gratitude back into our hearts and quite frankly, I am very relieved there is in fact a word opposite to triggers because those negative things can be all around too. It can simply come down to where you’re looking. If I keep an eye out for the glimmers, maybe I’ll be prone to more moments of happiness than the sudden and intense negative feelings tied to my triggers.

And to bring this all home today, a glimmer I had over the weekend was recognizing that I practice my Alcoholics Anonymous program in a way that works for me. I don’t have to be sober in the way that everyone else is.

I don’t hit my knees to say my prayers – I write them in my journals in the morning and that is when I personally feel that most connected to my Higher Power. And if I don’t have enough time to journal and pray in the morning, I ask HP to stay with my until I can. That seems to be working for us.

I love in person and Zoom AA meetings. The message can be heard anywhere, as long as you’re really listening. I have worked the steps slowly, because that is the pace, I’ve needed to approach them. I talk to my sponsor in a way that makes me feel comfortable, she is my friend and sometimes we talk about art, or writing, or what is going on in the world, what is going on in her life AND my life. That is what makes me feel safe in sharing with her with my deepest emotions, because I know through our conversations, she has them too.

I am incredibly grateful to have sobriety that works for me, that when I take a step back, is a glimmer that I can sometimes miss, but is always with me so long as I let it be.

Xx

Jane